Clever stuff and many kernels of truth here...
Don't invent bands. If you make up a name, you will give yourself away. You might think, "How can that be?" Again, that's just the way it works. So no cheating.
I grew up calling it Soda in Montgomery County, Maryland, in the DC metropolitan area. My parents call it Soda too, and they are from Wyoming and Iowa. When I studied Linguistics in college, I thought it was going to be all about this kind of thing, rather than learning about "bilabial fricutives" and so on. From Pop Vs. Soda
So which do you call it? What do you call a grocery container, a Bag or a Sack?